I don't really understand how 2016 is over so soon, it's felt like such a blur but oh so much has happened. And so here we are again, at the reflective part of the year when we all talk about the things we're going to do in the new year. But when I sat down to think, I realised there was nothing all that new I wanted to do, only things to change. I wanted to focus on ending my negative behaviours rather than starting new things simply to ignore them. So instead, here are things I won't do in 2017- reminders to myself, behaviours to stop, issues to tackle by denying them affect on my life.
.
.
1) I will not forget that nothing comes from nothing.
I think one of the hardest parts of working towards a creative career, is the complete and total reliance on you to actually put the work in. If I don't write, there's nothing to publish. If I don't actively seek out new platforms, it won't be published. If I don't work on my blog or mag, it won't grow. Everything is in my hands, and in 2017 I won't forget that. My mantra will be the Beyonce lyric - 'I grind til I own it' - and I won't forget to push for what I want.
2) I will not put myself in competition with another girl.
2017 will be a year of sisterhood, and advocating my feminism in my daily behaviours and life, not just in my politics and beliefs. I'll work to be less bitchy and not say things I don't mean about girls I don't really know. I will never blame another girl for my emotions over a boy or something trivial, and I will work to be a safe-house and a hand outstretched to the women in my life.
3) I will not obsess over food or exercise.
I have an incredibly addictive personality and struggle to do anything lightly which often reflects into my relationship with food and exercise. Moving away and living alone has made this super clear, so I vow to try my best to not obsess in 2017. I will nourish my body, eat what I need and what I want, cook more, plan my meals, not eat out of boredom and emotion, not use food as a reward, or restrict food as a punishment, do exercise I enjoy regularly but not stress about it or get upset if I miss a session. In 2017 I will not let my issues with my body/food just slip under the radar, I will (try to) tackle them and work harder to treat myself with more respect.
4) I will not lose creativity in the face of education.
Doing an arts degree on top of my own creative projects can be draining, and if I'm honest, I feel myself becoming less and less creative as I get more uni work. But in 2017 I won't forget to write. I will carry a notepad everywhere, and become more proactive in my journalistic work. I won't let my degree become me, and my academic work will not be more only output.
5) I will not be sleep deprived without reason.
Being 18 and a student lacks it a little unrealistic to say 'I will not be sleep deprived', but I'm going to stop staying up till too-late-o-clock just watching RuPaul's Drag Race or scrolling insta. I won't avoid sleep when I'm tired, and I definitely will stop working too late into the night and make a cut off point to stop working and start winding down on an evening.
6) I will not under-appreciate my friends.
2016 blessed me with the most incredible friendships with some of the funniest, most inspiring, interesting people I've ever met, and I won't forget that in 2017. I won't forget to prioritise people that are good to me, or forget to say thank you and show my gratitude to the friends that ground me. I will remember to be a rock for them, and support them as they do for me. I won't forget to make them feel as lucky as I do, and I won't forget to make plans with them.
7) I will not stagnate.
I will not forget that change is good. I will not become lazy in my contentment.
8) I will not buy things that don't make me feel 10/10.
In 2017 my wardrobe will be a happy place as part of my work towards self-care and self-appreciation. I will not leave my flat feeling crappy about myself because of my outfit, it's too trivial. I will wear things I love only while I learn to care less.
9) I will not forget self-care in the face of a busy life.
I will not deny myself treats. I will not deny myself sleep. I will not deny myself skincare, nail varnish, vanity, hot chocolate, films etc etc etc. In 2017 I will work to make self-care a vital part of my life/routine and regularly check-in with myself and give myself what I need to feel as good as possible as much as possible. I won't sacrifice self-care for my busy schedule, there's always time for me.
10) I will not stop watching film.
I love films, I won't stop. This one will be easy.
11) I will not let boys upset me.
NOT THIS YEAR LADIES. I'm 18, I'm happy, it's too trivial, it's all experience. I'll learn from it, I'll mourn it in a healthy way but I will not cry about it in the smoking area of a nightclub. Not. This. Year.
12) I will not sacrifice myself for other people.
In 2017 I won't forget the difference between putting your emotions and health first, and selfishness. I will be mindful of what I need and what I want, and not let that slip at the hands of another. I will not stray from my path to another if it's not in my direction and won't take me where I need to be. I won't let anyone make me feel selfish for doing this.
13) I will not forget how much I've grown.
I will not discredit myself, or forget the strength I've displayed and own. I'll remind myself of the things I've come through, but I won't forget that I'm not there anymore. I will not forget that right now is the light at the end of a dark tunnel, and If things get bad, I will use this thought as a comfort.
Here's to a new year, here's to you for the things you've done this year and all the things you'll do in the next.