If first year taught me anything, it's the importance of small, daily acts of self-care. Looking after yourself doesn't have to be dramatic or time consuming, it doesn't need to be a full regime or anything extravagant; simple and often is always best.

For me, weirdly, I normally feel the need to carry out self-care when I'm at home. In my last post I talked about how I feel unsettled when I'm not working, so it's during this down time that I make extra effort to do things that are mindful, calming and make me feel secure and chilled. Here's a couple little things I've implemented into my life, some that I do daily, some that I just try to do as much as possible.

However! It's important to work out what 'self-care' means to you, and what makes you feel the best. For example, I know my self-care involves alone time, but if you're more extroverted, your self-care might involve socialising. Get to know yourself! Work out how to make yourself feel comforted!

Internships finished, house all moved into, and I'm now back home with nothing in front of me but 3 months of looming summer, interrupted only by loose plans and rough dates still in pencil.

A year or two back this would've been the best thing in the world. Time off school is always the greatest thing ever when you're a kid and you're learning things you only minimally care about, or totally hate. You're school friendships are half-fulfilling and a little tainted with bitchiness, and the chance to escape that with months of holidays, days out, sleeps in, seems dreamy. But I've found myself in a situation where I'm completely in love with my life. My uni course is fascinating and perfectly suited to me, my house there feels like a home, my relationships are rich and challenging and loving, so months away is a chore.

But more than that, uni is an automatic sense of achievement, as I'm constantly working and learning. And that's the kind of person I am; I need to be pushing forward and grinding. Trying to get into an industry where a career can't be granted by a degree is scary and stressful. It's really hard to know if you're doing enough or what you should do next, there's never anyone that a perfect example of how to get the dream job as everything is so relative and too often luck dependant.

I've always had this blog, I run Kiloran, I'm an editor for The Tab, I've released a book and work hard to get as much published elsewhere as possible. But at the moment I can't shake this lingering feeling that it's not enough. I feel like I should be levelling up but I have no idea what that is, or how to do it. I'm working on issue 5, sending articles and poems off, I'm even sitting on a finished second book, and a half collection of poetry. Honestly, I'm probably doing the most, doing too much. But I've always put so much pressure on myself to do more, be better and bigger at a younger age, that it's hard to just chill. And now, without the added work of uni, the feeling is getting worse and worse, even though I'm working harder than ever on my projects, writing a lot, doing what I should be.

When I was younger I wanted to be famous. And in a way that definitely remains, but with an aim to be more respected and admired, like Patti Smith; loved but regarded as an artist. There's nothing to teach you how to do that, or any exams you can do; so I work. I'm gathering achievements that I'm proud of, but at the moment they seem to just brush over me so swiftly as I'm rushing to make another. I think I need to just relax a little. Or maybe release something new. Or maybe sit in my garden, read a book and drink some wine.

There's a lot coming from me; articles and poems dotted about, a magazine issue, and hopefully, maybe a new poetry collection in the coming months. I also want to dedicate more time to falling back in love with this blog, get back into fashion, and playlists, and film. But I want to do it out of passion, not fear.

I vow to spend the summer working and trying to gain that sense of productivity and satisfaction. But I also vow to spend the break trying to actually calm down a bit, you're 19 Lucy, you've got time.

 

I've just returned home from a week in the haven that is London. Being as far north as I am, and going to uni in the north, I don't often get the chance to visit, and if I do get the chance to go it's usually a fleeting visit with no time for exploring. So the chance to spend a week in Shoreditch (heart eyes) interning for The Tab (double heart eyes) was heavenly.

I worked full time Monday to Friday writing articles, talking about love island, and learning more about media. It was dreamy, hard work, but dreamy. However, I still got about and did some exploring. Here's a quick guide.

1. If your best friend was upset, you would take on a calming, positive voice. You would try to comfort them, build their confidence and make them feel secure. You wouldn't stand there and insult them, or point out more negative things. Be your own best friend, treat yourself with the same courtesy. 
2. As children, we respond to the comforting voice of our mothers. The soft voices you use around babies, and the simple compliments and praise you give them, are scientifically proven to soothe them. We're all still children at heart and still respond in the same ways, so talk to yourself like your mother. Talk to your inner child in a soft, appropriate voice.

We've reached the stagnation period of the exam/revision time, when you're probably burnt out, definitely bored. Nothing inspires you anymore, your motivation is non-existent. You're basically done.

But here I am with a new playlist of fresh noises for your ears.

I think a good soundtrack is vital to revision. Something mellow but not sad, calm but not slumberish with regular pace changes to speed up your writing to. Soft, unoffensive songs that you won't want to skip or spend too much time finding the perfect one.

Ta-da, here it is. A 3 hour long playlist of soft and calm songs to bring the inspiration back in the final stretch. Featuring some of my fave artists and fave new finds. Regularly added to so follow the playlist for new songs to fuel you.

Another really good option for revision soundtrack is listening to your spotify discovery playlist which is based on what you listen to, so is bound to match your taste. Pre-made playlists are a saviour to minimise procrastination time. And you're welcome for this one. I think it's pretty 10/10.