Positive affirmations are specific, empowering statements used to overcome self-sabotaging or negative thought patterns. The idea of writing out 'you're great!' or reciting compliment in the mirror can seem a little cringe or daunting, and I was definitely sceptical, until recently.
If you think about it logically, it makes so much sense. The majority of us would agree that we respond well to praise, while criticism has a negative affect on our mood. Good breeds good, bad breeds bad when it comes to mentality. But it's so important to remember this, and reflect it into your own inner voice, which is wear affirmations come in.
My counsellor spelt it out quite simply in 2 analogies-
- If your best friend was upset, you would take on a calming, positive voice. You would try to comfort them, build their confidence and make them feel secure. You wouldn't stand there and insult them, or point out more negative things. Be your own best friend, treat yourself with the same courtesy.
- As children, we respond to the comforting voice of our mothers. The soft voices you use around babies, and the simple compliments and praise you give them, are scientifically proven to soothe them. We're all still children at heart and still respond in the same ways, so talk to yourself like your mother. Talk to your inner child in a soft, appropriate voice.
It's so easy to slip into and be consumed by negative thought patterns, perpetuated by self-bullying. For example, you're having a bad day and feeling down, then you burn toast and suddenly you're telling yourself that you're trash and an awful person. That's what I'm talking about. A train of thought that gets more negative and becomes embedded into your self-worth. Positive affirmations are proven to combat this by training you to take on a more uplifting inner voice, gradually dispelling self-bulling. Good breeds good, bad breed bad!
After going through a break-up, I started writing out a post-it note each night before I slept. They're simple comments like 'You're worth more than this', 'don't burn yourself down for anyone', 'you are excelling' etc. I'd write them out last thing before I slept, then stuck them to my phone to read first thing when my alarm woke up. But even just the act of think up a statement, and repeating it in your head as you write it down is so beneficial. The act of writing further embeds the thought into your head, but also really helped calm me before bed which is normally a time when I'd usually get caught up in over thinking. Then in the morning, I'd read the statement 4 times before sticking the post-it on my wall.
Gradually I filled the wall with positivity with my affirmations and post-cards from loved ones. I repeated this routine of writing out the statements for a couple weeks until I no longer felt the urge, but continued to read them aloud each morning for about a month. I can now say without a doubt that it helped. Before, my self voice was incredibly over thinking and bullying, especially after the hurt of a break-up. But daily affirmations help combat that thinking first thing in the morning and set a positive tone for the day. I found it so beneficial not only for my mental health, but also my motivation and productivity as it created a nice little routine.
There are so many simple ways to incorporate positive affirmations into your life. It's important to find what works best for you, for some people visual affirmations are better than written etc. You could put up images, or make a manifestation board of positive quotes and photos of people that empower you, or write out your affirmations directly onto your mirror. If you search on pinterest there's sooooooo so so many suggestions, but also some basic affirmations to get you started if you're struggling to think of your own.
Regardless of how you do it, combating self-bulling and self-sabotaging thought is so important to boost your mental health and esteem. Learning to become your own cheerleader, and relying on no one but yourself for praise is an incredible life change not only for your personal thought, but is beneficial for your relationships and friendships. There's so many pros, and I can't recommend it enough.
You're great, you're excelling, you're beautiful.
